just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
