VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
