you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
