dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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