Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
