Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
