I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
