Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
