how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
