Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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