its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
