You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
