i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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