i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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