so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
