is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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