Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
