I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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