3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
