if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
