he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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