There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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