i think my mom watched the whole time
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
