i just wanna soil my oats bro
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
