big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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