there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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