Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
