I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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