i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
