I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
