I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
