somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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