My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
