Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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