I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
