There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You are a genius and a whore.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
