In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You're like the curious george of whores
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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