Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
