there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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