God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
