no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
