he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
