i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
