Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he puts the penis in happiness.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
