Fine. I'll sleep in my office
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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