I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
