she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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