Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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