Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She told me I should be a condom model.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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