Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
